Its easy to say

It's easy to say you care. But can you prove it? Do yo have anything to show for it?

Don't be mistaken. I'm not talking about my girlfriend. She's good to me...only when there's people around she tend to be shy. Hahaha...

I'm talking about my sister.

Sometimes I don't know how to approach the problem. Sometimes I just want to scold her in her face. But I don't think it will work. Just a few days ago, my friend, XXX, was complaining to me about his sister also. Not helping our with family chores and not putting in the effort to help the family. Times are bad. When I hear him talk about her, my sister's image just pops into my mind. I also told me friend about my sister as well... After that we both went silent...

Just a month ago, I wrote some stuff on the family white board. And my sister and her boyfriend...and my little sister...wrote on the board and declare their determination to help the family...out of its financial depression... So easy to say...

Part of my plan to alleviate the family's financial troubles is to help my dad do his accounts. Hopefully his business can function properly and perhaps he can help out as well. One day I brought home the invoice file and was looking for a volunteer to type it into the accounting system. (Funny thing...my mom bought the system 2 yrs ago for $800 and no one used it...i took a look and began using it...bit by bit..) No one offered...well its saturday night... I decided to see if my Sister was really determined to help. I asked her to help type in.
"I will do it tomorrow."
"Tomorrow morning you are going to church. Mid afternoon then come back. Sure wouldn't do one. By the time I ask you to do tomorrow it will be night time and you will say you are too tired and will ask to do it tomorrow and it will never get done."
"I just don't want to do it ok?"

Well done... Say you care...but do you ever lift a finger to do anithing? Household chores I must arrow then she will do. And after a LOOoooong while then she do. Always busy doing some other thing.

She is an escapist. We all are. I'm an escapist too but I have realise that escaping from problems will never help because it will always come back to haunt you. So I tend to go head on with problems now. Especially those that I feel are easy to solve as long someone lifts a finger.

Damn... Most of my siblings are escapists... Hoping not to do housework.. as long no one asks... they wouldn't do. Just escaping...day by day... hoping someone will give up and do the dirty work... I don't know. I can do all the shit myself. My grades might take a plunge.. I might have to give up sometime with my galfriend. I don't know. The thing is... Are they all waiting for me to save them? Even if I could...its not a long term solution...but for course... these are just words of anger. My siblings are trying...to change...bit by bit..when their moods are good... The only one who I feel I couldn't connect is my Sister.

It is easy to say that I care... But it is difficult to actually care for someone.

I saw a familiar face

Guess who I saw today at Admin Block(or USP Block).. Mrs Edeline Tan! My GP tutor. Well done. She stop teaching in SA already. Now teaching in ...er...dunno wats the name. CELC. The English Language Centre. Part time. And she remembers my name. Tat. Yeah. Amazed. I thought only the computing teachers will remember cause of the long time. I mean..its been 5 years since I last saw Mrs Tan. Half a decade. She does look abit older now but generally the same. She mentioned that Mrs Tan(our civics tutor) is very proud of our class. Haha. Well done 00S31. Gosh. Thats so long ago la. Now is 07 something le.

Amazing...

Memories

Today was a busy day.

I went for ACCA class...from 930am to 5pm

Then went for Lynnette, Cow Woman, Glynsen and Kent's Birthday BBQ. Paiseh for Lynnette's small present. And Cow Woman...well...normally 21st will try to buy something big...but I am one man...one poor man...so she got a cow. A cow that can make her do good! So there!

Anyway, just now went out with my sec sch frens. Mostly my NCC peps la. Talk a lot of nonsense. Recounted our Sec sch days...our NCC days...our Army days... If a gal was with us...she will jst wither and die of boredom. Hahaha... Between us.. 1 commando 2 infantry officers 1 airforce officer 1 ATEC spec and 1 signal spec. All with many stories to tell. But its Russel, who has the most to say. Talking about all the infantry night missions here...and there... things that happen. Brings back images of my days in the army(real army...not air force) where we will just wear SBO helmet rifle and full pack and just stink and be in the jungle... Its an experience that I will not trade for anything in the world. Its an experience that we cannot forget and also an experience that we will not want to repeat. I dunno about the rest, but if given a choice, I will still do the same thing again. If I were to choose whether to do it or not. I would. Because those experiences have shaped the way I have become. Sometimes the girls think these experiences are over rated and that we are all bragging. Well some of us might be... but it is really a once in a lifetime experience. To be in full battle gear, running about in the middle of the night, in the jungle... I do not have the full infantry experience, but I can imagine what it would have been...having tasted some during my BMT field camp. The closest might be my SUMEX? summary exercise... Tired.. planning... running about... getting screamed at... And all you do is just go forward... one step at a time...because you are too tired to think of anything else...Just being in a sweaty no4 in full battle gear and still accumulating more sweat. The helmet just presses down on your head...Rifle sling pressing down on your neck on the left side. And when all is done... you look back and you ask yourself...how in the world did you do all that...

And now we are all in civis..sitting down in Kopitiam...recounting our experiences...laffing over it...never to do it again... hoping not to do it again... but glad that we did it so many years ago...

Should I be angry?

Should I be angry? Should I be sad?
Should I be happy? Should I be glad?