A gift from Ying Zheng

Hey check out my birthday gift from YZ... Morpheus Sunglasses... Cool... Show u guys the pic of me with the sunglasses if u ask...heh..

Thanks bro..like it alot...shall wear it during USP camp... Hoo~

Quotable Quotes

Happiness is like peeing on yourself... Everyone can see it...but only you can feel the warmth...

It is never too late

Today I learnt a valuable lesson from Ee Min.... It is never too late...

She should join the SAF... Very good at fighting fire...

Lets see ah...at 1:16:28AM she said : "ur birthday recently mah?"

At 1:23:27AM she sent me this pic....


Wah lao! Damn Kien la... So fast! not bad i appreciate the effort. She told me she googled for a picture of egg tarts and then edited the picture. To add her flavour i guess.. those words just shouts "I'm from Ee Min!!" You gotta see her blog to know that...wahahaha

Keep up the good work.. And consider the SAF... we need good firefighters like you...

A quiet day

Last week my junior Weijie told me that PRIDE stands for "People Rest I Do Everything".

I agree. Because that is what happens in SAF when people have pride. They end up doing everything. And the people around that person will slack. Many NSFs curse SAF, saying SAF is a waste of their time...but I beg to differ. In the first place, you did not put in the effort to help. Just lie down on your back and complain your life away. And please don't complain about the lowly pay. Its just too bad that you are borned like that. Thats why i hate NSFs who slack their life away. Because they are the ones who bad mouths the SAF and yet they are the ones who contributes to the overall inefficiency of the organisation. There are NSFs who put in their best and they have my respect. Of course... the only thing worse than NSFs who are slack...are Regulars who are slack.

Yesterday went out with the ENS peps to cosy canopy... quite a nice place to chill out... with the right company. Hahaha. They were a fun lot. Rachel said I got very nice eyes... Eyes which gals will envy (thanks to my double eyelids). But I don't know whether it was a compliment or not... Alrite.. It was a compliment but I'm not too sure its applicable to me or not...hmmm...

On looks.. Haha.. I told my auntie on my birthday that my friends in Uni think i'm ugly... alrite..maybe not ugly..but not shuai... She say they are just being sour grapes cuz they know i'm married. Wahahah... Nah.. I've always been my auntie's xiao shuai ge... She always disturb me one... If only the girls around me see the shuainess that my auntie sees...wAHAhahaha okok enough of nonsense... I think some of u start to vomit liao...hahaha

Today was a boring day. My office was empty. Everyone move out for exercise. I'm not trained in the weapon so i no need to move out. Damn.. should have asked for OFF. Too late now... I was so bored that I went to intranet to surf...and checked the weather status. But like not accurate leh... Say will rain but it din. But also good la... Rain then I have to jog around the place..tsk... Then went out to eat lunch with Dim 1. Hahaha. V enjoyable lunch.. felt like i go back to school liao. I offered to give her a treat since she was so nice to come down and eat with me...she say no need. She wants to save for a big treat. Greedy DIM 1 !!!

I'm happy today and thoughts on beauty and flaws

I have received the card from the goddess herself!!! How sweet of her. Hah. It was quite a nice card. I mean...it was better than I have expected...

She told me that there were a few problems... at the last minute, she realised that she has misspelt "Happy birthday"(i'm not saying that her english is bad....i'm not saying its good either...wahahaha) and she rushed to amend it... It was done using glitter... I can't really figure out how she managed to amend it...hmmm...but good job aniway.. I really appreciate it thanks!!

And her handwriting in chinese is v nice!... but in english...tsk...just like mine..so shan't comment..

Its really exciting to receive something handmade... like Ahloo's photo album...or Germaine's Cake... But yiqian's cheapskate birthday card for my 18th birthday dun count...wahahaha

I'm not gu niang hor...its just that i also do handmade stuff...and i understand the effort that is being put inside to make the gift... I remember my friend once told me, "Tat, why do you bother to spend so much time on making cards? You think you can make it better than those on sale outside?" I was rather taken aback. Never really thought of it that way. But it did not deter me la... I still think that got heart good le...

It is the flaws and the imperfections that makes it really truly yours... Thats what i believe in...despite my perfectionist nature. My mother was telling me about a time where she had this temp working in her department. The gal was cute and had a sweet smile.. but she had a tooth that is twisted. Came out the wrong way you know. But my mom thought that it made her more pretty... its like its the imperfections on her face that actually makes her look better. And i agree. Don't you just get sick of those flawless, plastic faces on magazines? Ok..maybe i'm alone in this... but they just feel so fake...not real at all. And so I do not find them pretty.

Same with handicrafts. While it is true that it would look better if bought from a gift shop...but it would be...perfect and flawless... just like thousands that were manufactured before it...and after it... Handmade gifts...might have construction errors but those flaws..how do i say it?...erm...they belong to you?...

Alrite... In other words...appreciate flaws and imperfections as they make the gifts special...

And thank you for the card..

Something i forgot to mention

Bubble Tea Goddess made me birthday card. Quite excited. Can't wait to see it. Hope i see it before the birthday feeling over le...

Actually birthday feeling a bit over liao...see how bah...must act excited and happy to receive it still...wahahahahaha.... just jokin...

Birthday Aftermath - I'm so happy!

Today my birthday! whoopie... V happy..

To start off... I received sms from Kimseng and liping...and Jane! After that i received a call from my thai pen pal, Fai. She wished my happy birthday over the phone. So touched. Wahaha...too bad i din warm up my throat and i sound like a sick man..tsk...wahahahaha

I went to teach tuition... And i received a call from Germaine...(sweet gal with the cake...yeaps thats her...) and Jennifer smsed me. Tot she will call..but i'm not a greedy boi....little did I know i would be in for a surprise...

After tuition i went to meet the Psch gang. There was Qian, Caliz, Jiarong and Nanz. Wanling came later. We had K lunch! Had fun singing.. quite long neva hear calis and qian sing le...wahahaha.. Wanling was crowned retro queen. And i was named as Li Zhong Sheng II...damn.... no wonder i have difficulty attracting gals..wahahaha

And i was surprised with a cake! gosh! From Jennifer. Oh gosh..i'm so touched. I mean...i really felt that i dun deserve it... Sorry jenn..ur birthday i neva do much but u did so much for mine. Really appreciated it gal...miss YA!!!... and heres the cake


Its got my name on it!... So sweet gal! Its a cheesecake with v big and juicy strawberries! Damn nice...and i ate like 3 slices? gosh... I wish for world peace!!

The gang bought me a belt and a wallet...Nan and Jiarong bought me a mini mahjong set...yeah..i knew u wun buy a watch...wahahahha... Thanks mate...





Whahaha...damn nice... alrite...here are some pics of the KTV...

Nanli and Jiarong (yes...jiarong is a guy...quite macho in fact...sorry to disappoint anione..wahaha)

Nanli putting in his effort to sing....

Yiqian and Calista!

We went to Nanz's house after that and played mahjong! Initially i was losing quite badly..until i took out the Magical cricket. Yiqian bought for me from Bali.. V interesting. Its a wooden cricket that actually sounds like a cricket! Shall demo for you guys one day... In the end i won all of them! tsk... too bad we din play money...wahaha...But i had a real great time! Thanks guys...

The magical Cricket... I can call out for the tiles i want with this and i will get it! wahahaha...

I went to my grandma's house to celebrate my birthday with 2 other cousins. Both of them their actual birthday is 21st June. One is 16 and the other is 16 younger than me...7... wahahaha..So we each had 1 candle... I bought the cake.. My aunt bought all the food...goodness i'm so stuffed! heres the cake! Chocolate Truffle...YUm!

And here's a picture of the youngest member of the whole extended family... My cousin Elicia Ng Xin Yi...Cute right...

This is my brother....acting cute...wahahaha! with his handmade kebab...

A gift from my cousin...sorry for the poor res... basically it looks like one of those shirts nanz would wear....hehehe

Ok there are many others who wished my happy birthday too...Like Corinne... who called...and was amused that i'm playing mahjong on my birthday...if you are reading this cor...i'm not an addict...wahahaaha... Susin also smsed me... hurray! Huiqi msned me when i got home...hehe

Ok i'm just high in my happiness.... My family bought Star Wars Lego for me! A B-Wing fighter! Woo hoo..i'm one step closer to completing my collection!

And i must mention that Wingyan is buying the Tix to her concert for me... nice gift! wahahaha

Yeah...need to rest now... Thanks you guys...

Birthday Post

Woh its my birthday! i'm freaking 23 now! I can go into Ma'am Wong LEGALLY.. my gosh...

Time flies...

Birthday resolutions...

Maintain my cap above 4.5 for the next two sems

Maintain below 80kg in weight

Be a good friend and a generous one.

which reminds me of a prayer i have learnt in SJI...
Prayer for Generosity

Lord,
Teach me to be generous,
Teach me to serve you as you deserve.
To give and not to count the cost.
To fight and not to heed the wounds.
To toil and not to seek for rest.
To labour and not to seek reward.
Except in knowing that i'm doing your holy will.
Amen.

Yes. to give and not to count the cost. Sometimes i'm just too calculative. Always think about ROI (return on investment)..

Just now SS msged me first. V surprised. Make me feel guilty cuz i only wished her at 2am last week...hahaha. My hp alarm spoil can....wah lao... wanted to sms her on the dot one hor....

And i msged Stanley Tong...my OG mate in SAJC 1st 3 months. He has the same birthday... So i wished him and he wished me back...well done la...hahahaha

Chinghui called! and she msged too... dunno wat she thinking but yah... its a double blessing from her ok...

Yew ming also msged me...Good pal...

Come home....Wingyan wished me on MSN...followed by YZ... Weisern also wished after see my birthday cake msn pic...wahahaha... Sophie also remembered...weird..i dunno that she noe my birthday tsk...

And my exwife..i mean going to be exwife msged as well...

Tml going out with Psch gang... going nan's house to play abit of MJ and slack ard... a perfect day...wahahaha

At night celebrate with my cousin whose birthday is 22/6 i think...who is 16 yrs younger...heh

So long folks...heh

Today is a good day

Today is a good day. I ran my IPPT today and got the following results...
Chinups : 12 (5)
SBJ : 238 (4)
Situps : 41 (5)
Shuttle run : 10.4 (3)
2.4 run : 10.25 (4)

Very pleased with my results...now must work harder to slim down somemore...wahahaha

Since today is a good day...i shall not think about all the hate that is ever present in me. I shall not let the beast in me take over me....

Ah I met Germaine today. She gave me my birthday gift! Whoopee... first birthday gift I have received for my 23rd birthday...

Ah... Cake and Card

Bad angle..good cake

Theres my name on it!

Pretty Cake!

I enjoyed it very much. I shared it with Yewming and Weijie in the Specialist's mess. It would have tasted better if there was more Nutella in between the layers... but still its 甜在心里. V sweet in the heart liao...hahaha....absolutely loved it!!!! Thanks Germaine. Ah...those want to buy watch for me one ah...you all know who you are...better learn ok...get something i want ok...hahaha just joking la... But if really watch ah...i will smack Jiarong...and then thank the rest...wahahaha...
(disclaimer... Germaine makes cakes for other peps too and bakes and feeds me quite often..so dun woo waa anywhere ok...especially Jennifer...just waiting for a chance to start a scandal..wahahaha)

Speaking about Jennifer...She called today! Wow... its her off day. Talk to her about nonsense...but still v happy to hear her voice...as in...feel that she's so near...when she actually half a world away... So exciting...heh

Haiyah...old liao...what to do? 23 liao. My old 6510 phone still have my birthday wishes that people sent 3 years ago. Thats like when i was 20. Gosh...so fast time has passed. Looking at the messages are like reliving the past and I wonder what did i do for the past few birthdays... hahaha... So much has passed since then... I have learnt... I have loved...and I have hated... I have grown fat...have slimmed down...got Gold for IPPT...

Wonder where i will be 3 years from now...(back in the airforce idiot...)

I don't feel it anymore

These days.. I'm very forgetful. I forgot that I'm married. I do not feel married anymore. I feel that i'm single. Only upon deeper reflection that i remember i'm married and the pangs of pain will pierce my heart once more. But it doesn't hurt as much anymore. Hahaha. I'm glad i'm recovering this fast. So I look forward to her coming home. So that I can divorce her. And buy my Sony T30. I think maybe not.. think i will just buy it NOW!!!...muahahahaha...

I wanted to buy after i divorce her is because... she has a good digicam. If we don't divorce I will use hers. if not i want a digicam to bring to school and snap pictures of hwee loo and SS sleeping while studying...and of mingyang's lecherous eyes...and wingyan's goofy laughter. Chinghui's powerful punches.... so many pictures to take.. and the Sony T30 is the one with the Super Stablising Shot! then can go out at night and chill out that time can take clear pictures. Make me wanna buy it now! But then i feel like i'm just trying to splurge and feel good about myself.

Talking about feeling good... someone say i'm a 妈妈级人物. A bit stun. Big brother yes... but mama? I neva been called a father figure much less a mama figure. Tsk. Which makes me feel weird. On 1 hand...it means i give the nice warm feeling...caring..helpful and stuff...but on the other hand...it just feels wierd and it questions my ability to be an exciting and fun boyfriend... What kind of boyfriend will i be? Boring and boring i guess.... not to mention my inability in dressing up and grooming myself. Really feel like the Densha otoko... Used to depend on my wife. and now that she's going to be removed...i have to relearn the skills i learn (whatever little skills i have) in the past... hai...watever la...just be myself... uncultured...ugly...boring... but utterly loyal and caring...(hey you all stop vomiting!)

Right...got a friend who is very stressed over her work. I just want to say... maybe I'm not the 对象 that you want to hear it from...but.. you can do it. Prove them wrong. You will be able to perform when the time comes for you to perform...

Tml ippt...i hope i can perform too...wahahaha... If got silver then i will get $100 more in my reserves...whoopie...

My exams is finished!!! and so am i

2.6 was a killer. Er...to me.. Because i did not study for it adequately. But as all of you guys out there know...I'm famous for just making the mark... So i'm praying... That i pass 2.6 so that i dun have to retake it next sem and get my Oxford Brookes Degree in the making ASAP. By the way folks.. I have never "always" made it you know.. I got a B for Fmaths in A level.. I'm not being cynical. But that B made a dent into my results and I couldn't get a scholarship. Ended up with SAF. Instead of being a scholar. I became an awardee. Of course, on retrospect, it does seemed better this way. I went to NUS. Got to know a few swell pals.. Sometimes i look back and i think...what if? What if I have gotten an overseas scholarship and was on the way up the world. Being in one of the top universities in the world..and i would not flinch when i say that, as i do with NUS... But I wouldn't get what to where i am now. I would gain other things if i have went through the other path..but I truly cherish what i have now. (minus the wife part...bad memories..argh..shoo shoo) So i stand here and sincerely thank all those who have been a part of my life. (except my wife) Thank you for being there for me..and made me happi...

Escapades of Young Ah Tat & a short preview of Casanova : story of LTA 帅哥

Today Jiarong just reminded me of an episode in my primary school life...Something embrassing that Mr Ng announced to the whole class somemore...

There was once we were tasked to write 私函. A letter to our friend to introduce our singapore zoo to them... Being the young and innocent me.. I really believed that we are supposed to write our true feelings to our "friend"．So i wrote the following line....or at least something close to it...　

我们的动物园真的是一个很好玩的地方。可是，老实说，我们的动物园真的很臭。　那里的动物随地拉屎，把动物园搞的臭气熏天。我劝你还是别来了。

Mr Ng told me... you know..this letter is supposed to tell your friend the good points of the zoo to encourage him to visit and all you say is that it is smelly.... The whole class laughed. I could only smile sheepishly..... :)

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LTA 帅哥 went out with 美少女战士 yesterday. They had fun...while i was studying! tsk.... thats all the preview.. I dunno what i can say here without getting a dagger stuck onto my back...

So long folks...wahahaha

WOW from the Bubble Tea Goddess

Imagine darkness...and emptiness...and suddenly there is a splendour of light and you see a outline of a lady... graceful...but slightly plump.. and suddenly you hear a voice in your head...

Ok...thats the movie version...the real msn version was like this...

"I think it's a gd idea leh...
everyday u think of a cravin~
den when u satisfy it, u will b so damn happi~"

Which is very true i guess...something for u to look forward to everyday. A philosophy that is fulfilling...spiritually and physically...(physically is the less desirable part tho...)

So I think you guys should try it! But it may not be food..although it is more tangible.. it could be an activity or a song or even someone..*wink wink*

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Moment of the year

me: we can't have a semi-pretty girl fainting on the street
BTG: semi-pretty~
BTG: can dun gif semi-compliment~

Hahahaha...sorry i found it funny...don't know about you...hahaha

Quotable Quotes by Young Ah Tat

me: you know that does WOW stands for?
you : I dunno
me: it stands for Words of Wisdom...
you: wow.....

now you know why you say wow when u hear something wise or spectacular


You know theres a expiry date for our packet drinks and cans...Normally they call it a "Best before" date...

So if it is best before this date...that means...after this date...it would be Better!

Surprise Surprise!

Someone asked me today on how to tell people not to give her surprise. Hmm... I told her, "4get it. Just enjoy it." I'm not using the "duh" tone which i so oftenly use it on Dim Sum (dim 1 + dim 2) . Its just that its impossible to tell someone not to give u a surprise/present. You can say no..but people would take it that you are shy...and..maybe you "secretly" want it and is testing their faith! Thanks also to the myth that when gals say no...they actually mean yes!... Goodness. You have no choice. Just sit back relax and enjoy the show. Unless maybe you show you are angry? but like i said in previous entries... give your friends a chance to do something for you! I don't know about gals. But I know one of the highs that a guy can get is knowing that he can do something for someone (be it guy or gal...preferably gal). heh. But the someone say that she worried that she might not know how to react and might disappoint her friends who had put in so much effort for her. Actually I think just smile...and drip eyedrops in ur eyes while ur friends are not looking... Should be good enough... Or maybe just look somewhere and give the "i'm in deep thought" kind of look. And when a friend calls you, you look back..a bit flustered...and wipe an imaginary tear off your eye...and say,"nothing..." and smile the sweetest smile u can muster. That whole action basically says,"I'm too touched for words." So..there! gotta learn how to act abit you know...hahaha..But then when i think of it... it is rather perculiar..

Is it still a surprise if you know it would happen? Where is the surprise in the surprise then?

Right I know I'm playing with words again...

The goddess has spoken to me

BTG(bubble tea goddess) just told me that eat sushi and xiao long bao tomolo will be lucky... Tsk.. where to find? I hope Expo have...wahahaha...(later she told me to eat laksa with yellow noodles. No tougay no haRm no parsley)

My birthday is coming... and the P sch gang was asking what would I like to do for my birthday. I was like...er...anything loh... you all decide can... I dunno la.I only noe I would like to spend my time with them...my closest friends... and just anithing will do... Even if sit down at a cafe and chit chat also good... But when i reflect again...I think...maybe i should have put more thought into how to celebrate my birthday. At least I can get hyped up then my frens more interested... If not like i dun care like that..they also sian...right or not? I guess i just dun put too much emphasis on my own birthday... Still.. it is a time where ur frens really get to pamper you right? Thats why I always felt that one should celebrate his/her 21st birthday. Cuz it gives ur friends an opportunity to show their appreciation and it gives u the opportunity to feel like the most important person on that day. Your friends will also be happy that they are making you happy... no?

Dun be selfish. Celebrate ur birthday in a grand way!

The Officer's Creed

I am an Officer of the Singapore Armed Forces

My duty is to lead, to excel and to overcome.

I lead my men by example.
I answer for their training, moral and discipline.

I must excel in everything I do.
I serve with pride, honor and integrity.

I will overcome adversity
With courage, fortitude and determination.

I dedicate my LIFE to Singapore!

When I'm down and out...i will read out these lines...and remind myself that I am..an Officer of the Singapore Armed Forces

I drove my dad to work today

Alright.. i did not drive him to work... rather I drove myself to work and switched with him once I reach my camp. It was rather wierd. He has driven me all my life. I can't really recall any other time where I drove him to work.

I drove him to work so that he could sleep or read the newspapers on the way. He sleeps so little everyday (about the same as me..but hey i'm a strong young man..wahahaha) This is the least I can do? Im the reason he wakes up so early in the morning to go to work. Normally he will go off at 9am but now we leave at 730am. Well... it reminds me when I was young... My dad never sends me to school. Maybe I was too scared to ask. Of course, I would only want my dad to send me to school if I overslept and was going to late. Its amazing how easily I overselpt..er..wrong english..watever... yah... I served many detentions in SJI because I overslept and arrived late. So its like that. I never expected my dad to send me to anywhere. I guess he was traditional sort of man who never showed his emotions. And I was the traditional son...haha.. But when I entered army..he offered to send me to camp. Everytime i book in he will offer to send me to camp (on sunday nights). Even during Airforce School...early morning send me to work and he will go off to yishun to work. Now that i'm more conversant with Singapore roads did I realise how off tangent it was. He said he could pick up his workers who lived somewhere near...hmm... but anycase.. Its funny how you only feel the fatherly love when he sends you to school/work. Somepeps have been sent since young and might have taken that for granted. For me it was a warm fuzzy feeling when he said he was going to send me to camp. Now, of course I have got used to it and no warm fuzzy feelings.. but i will always remember it...hmm...yah something like that...

Feeling Lucky and the art of seeing opportunity

Yesterday someone told me that I should drink bubble tea today. If I drink bubble tea today I will be lucky. Bet soccer will win... The problem is... I dun bet soccer. And the reason she gave is that cuz she crave for bubble tea that day and so I will be lucky if i drink it...hmmm... just think of her as the bubble tea goddess...

So today i decided to really find bubble tea...just for the fun of it... I went to Dhoby Ghaut to meet Nanz they all to study my ACCA. So decided to search for it there... I scoured the whole of PS basement...dun have... I msged the bubble tea goddess to ask for some divine intervention. She told me ," Thou shalt not findest bubble tea in PS" Damn! So I walked passed Macdonald house. Dun have... Checked out Cathay Picture house...nope..only got Ben and Jerry's... Almost wanted to explore Paradiz centre but decided that work is more impt. Whats not meant to be is not meant to be... So i crossed the road to SMU and went to meet Nanz. At the School of Information Systems... what did ya know...There was a bubble tea shop there! And I ordered peach milk tea with pearls... Its weird...when you look for it...you cannot find it...and when you decide to go about ur normal routine, it finds you!... And true enough... I felt that I was lucky... and said a silent prayer to the bubble tea goddess..

Which reminds me of the time i was in Brunei for Jungle Survival Training. Many call it the lowest point of their lives... Which is true...to me... because it was a turning point as well..hahaha

I was thrown in the jungle with a few tasks which we are supposed to complete in order to pass the trianing. These includes building structures for shelter and traps.. The most important part of building structures are vines... or roots...to bind the wood together so that ur structure can stand... I had problems finding them.. I was so down that i almost cried... I even went over to my site mate and tried to strike a deal. I chop wood..he give me roots. But he refused. And I'm glad he did not agreed. He probably knew it would be more beneficial for me to survive on my own... I decided to just try my luck..and i did manage to find some roots! And the more I dig the more i find! And i was on the way to get my shelter up and proper. And guess what.. I found a vine which is 1cm in diameter(the perfect vine) and several meters in length. It would have well provide for my structure had i found it earlier... And it was just beside my site... And i was sitting there whining..almost crying... where the answer was just beside me...

So sometimes we just have to open our eyes a bit and see opportunity...and luck will come...hahhaha

Nick names

Today i was telling Nanz that Jennifer's nick name in her camp is "Genie"... hmm...we were both agreeing that it was not a good nick name...suggestive in nature..(thanks to Christina Arguelia..shit..dunno how to spell...) and a bit idiotic...people will suan u one loh...

So we came up with a new nick for her....why not... Jennifer "imsopretty" Goh? Better right...
I can Tat "Imsosmart" Ng.... Ming Yang can be "Imsohamsup" Chen...

Wingyan will be "Imissmartde" Wong...and Chingies...hmm... "Imsofierce"??? WAHAHahaha

Passing on the burden and paying for mistakes

Today was a shag day. After posting my post, I went to give tuition...

My tuition kid say meet at the library instead of his house. I was puzzled but I went anyway. And I realised he fought with his parents the night before. Kena kick out of house and cannot go back to sleep... Really fight know... goodness.. Cuz he bought 4D. and the mom dun like. And he punch his dad. And the mom scratch him. Haiz... confusing la... Think he hates them. And..the mom later came up and told him to go lunch with the family. He just rejected her. "I don't wat to eat with you." It fills me with regret to see such case. But I cannot interfere. Hopefully i can slowly talk him around loh...

After that went to meet the ACCA gang for some study. My mom was there as well. She brought alot of notes...yes sir yes sir 3 bags full! Goodnesss. I told her to bring less liao...bring so much also not going to use...Then in the end i wanted to leave early..so i help her bring 2 bags of her notes home. Wah lao...super heavy. But i'm her son la..wat to do... If i find it heavy..then she will be totally spent trying to bring it home. Duno how she brought it out in the first place. Then I thought of this phrase..."The children will always have to pay for the parents' mistakes" Like my mom...create so much debt ...then now the children...us...will have to carry her burden...come out work that time...help her clear...thats why i wanna sign on... and try so hard to earn money. Which reinforces my belief that I must make the right choice in life. Not just the choice that I will enjoy most...but the one that will be beneficial to my kids..so that they do not have to feel the weight of my mistakes....

And so...perhaps..i really should divorce....

Still...I love my mom...

Some thoughts and the departure of a good friend

Ok..this is actually two posts combined into one...

First...thoughts on my wife...

Sometimes i think...i just wonder....if it is still possible to be together. There are always stories of forgiveness and love and kisses whatever. But after much thought...I think it is rather difficult... To trust again. Lets think of it this way...we stick together and we build a wonderful relationship together. with kids and all.. Will she throw all that away for a moment of thrill and excitement? On the pretext of love? For me.. i will not do it... I might grow feelings or even love another..but I will not throw away years of marraige just for that one feelings. I'm practical. And I believe in the constitution of marriage and responsibility. I will not destroy what i have built just to "love" another. Why create a new relationship where you can mend one? But there are points of no return. I and I believed my wife has passed that point. That is my stand. My wife... She's a risk taker. She will gamble. If she wins, she gets two lovers. Two guys. If she loses, she will get none. And that is what infuriates me. I do not want to be a chip on the gambling table. Her risk taking spirit...is good for business...but bad for relationships. No matter how old we are and how long we have been together, she will risk it all. She might disagree if she reads this. But hey, its a different thing. Saying that you love someone and promise to remain true, and when the urge and the opportunity comes. Will you have the moral courage to say no?

Enough of her nonsense.

Jennifer left for USA this morning at 650am. I woke up at 320 am to prepare and left for Shushan's house at 345am. Weisern bunked in my house the night before and we left together. It was exciting and fun... My first time driving a lorry. Had a bit of hiccups here and there but heY! no engine stalls. it was quite plain sailing. Maybe its due to the fact that there were few cars. on the road in the morning. Anyway, it was quite an experience. After picking up SS, we went to pick up Chinghui. CH as usual, got the fierce face when she saw me...wahahaha even weisern can feel her killing wind (sha qi)... and we went to pick Kaimei. It is KM's first time on the lorry. She was rather excited and was saying Hi and waving to many cars on the street. Thank god i didn't see that. And we reached the airport...saw Jenn...and realise her flight is coded MH XXX. Wah lao...first thing came into my mind is the ai mei thing...hahaha.... If jenn is reading this she will be dying to strangle me now... And Jenn baked cookies for all who came to send her... Ok la huh... Quite nice...and its was a huge bundle...they say...if ur quality not good....make it up with quantity... thats what jenn did. Ok la.. im munching on them now...cuz bo pian...it lao hong already...must eat finish now..tsk... Its very funny to see Kaimei trying to get the "feeling" of sadness cuz ah loo going... CH keeps thinking about australia... And SS?... just acting normal i guess... After Ahloo go inside, we wondered to the wiewing mall...and we saw her plane.... was looking all the way till it took off...AH LOO u touched not? Come back must thank us again.

I v stress when ah loo start to hug people...cuz i even tho i lament about wanting a hug..but in reality...i can't do it... Maybe i still v traditional type of person...wahahaha. its weird that a married man like me is shy on such thing... maybe i dun want to feel so emotional...and i'm not a seh behbeh...

Right. Now jsut looking forward to 10th June... SS's and WS's birthday? No la...its Pay Day!...

Off to give tuition loh....